Nine Superiority
by Snakeshark196
Summary: Trent and Noah are roommates and maybe a bit more. Everyday they have the same routine together. And it doesn't make it easy on Noah who has a nine obsesser for a roommate. So after he's set on fire. Trouble arises and Noah has to face the punishments of Nine. Rated M for language and sexual references.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama. No profit being made.**

**Dedicated to RedEyedWarrior for his birthday was as of yesterday. Happy birthday dude. Hope yah like it.**

* * *

><p><strong>"Nine seconds, nine seconds, nine seconds, nine seconds, nine seconds, nine seconds, nine seconds, nine seconds, nine seconds." <strong>

"What exactly is in nine seconds?"

"You idiot, how could not know what's in nine seconds."

"Well Trent, if I had to guess, something pointless and/or stupid."

"Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah..."

"Yeah don't say my name nine times," Noah deadpanned.

"Why not?" Trent asked.

"Because I politely asked," Noah answered.

Trent sighed. "Only if you say my name nine times all within nine seconds."

Noah rolled his eyes and did no such thing. "So whatever is in nine seconds I suspect to be about now."

Trent gasped as he smiled widely, nine times bigger than the normal person. He looked at the nine clocks on the wall. "IT'S NINE AFTER NINE. YAY!"

Noah turned to the fourth wall camera, "Yeah, this my life. Stuck in a relationship with the most insane person ever. How'd it happen? Let's just say Duncan's a royal asshole, he can so not prove that shit ever happened. Fucking black mailer."

Trent turned and looked at Noah. "Who you talking to?"

"The Fanfiction Readers," Noah replied. "Anyway, what's todays schedule."

Currently the two were on the ninth floor of their apartment building. Figuring how to spend their day.

Trent looked at the clock and scowled. He got so mad when it said 9:10am. "FUCK YOU!" He flipped the clocks off.

Noah just sat calmly, reading a book called, How to Deal with Crazy Psychos. So far everything he tried failed. "So I guess we'll do the usual then."

Trent did his usual morning routine. He grabbed the side table lamp in anger and threw it against the wall. He then walked over to the closet and threw the door open nine times. Leaving door handle marks on the wall. On closer inspection, the wall was horribly damaged.

Trent reached inside the closet and pulled out another lamp. He proceeded to smash that one on the ground to. He did this seven times. How or why he had so many lamps inside the closet was a mysterious.

Just on time the next phase of the usual morning occurred and Noah decided as usual not to take notice.

The front door swung open and stood there were the police.

"We got yet another fucking noise complaint from in here," the cop yelled, gun drawn on Trent.

A second cop for no reason at all had one pointed at Noah's head, he didn't seem to be bothered. This situation would end the same way it usually did.

Trent was chased out of the building. Trent used the nine flights of stairs of course while the cops used the elevator. They caught him before he could reach the bottom. But he again, did his usual way of getting through and gave each of the two cops nine purple nurples.

The cops yell out in pain as Trent escapes. Grabbing their chests in pain, dropping their guns in the process.

Trent ends up running through the town hitting and breaking random stuff. As the cops chase him down. Eventually after he dives into the river and swims away they call it off and say it isn't worth their time. And demand to know why they keep going to Trent's apartment for a noise complaint.

Trent managed to get out of the river and shook himself like nine dogs for ninety-nine seconds before he headed home. Some how this got him super dry.

He entered his apartment and saw Noah.

"You escape in the river again?" Noah asked.

Trent nodded nine times. "Of course. No one captures Trent the nine obsesser."

"Nine obsesser?" Noah questioned.

Trent shrugged. "Blame the writer, he wrote it."

"Ugh, yeah," Noah deadpanned. "So what's next?" Already knowing what it was.

Trent looked at the clock and saw it was 9:39.

"Time to pray to the nine God," he said, dragging Noah to a room in the back of the apartment.

"Yay, this is the most thrilling part of my day," Noah said sarcastically.

"Me too," Trent said not catching the sarcastic part.

In the back room was a giant metal statue of the number nine. In front of it were nine candles all lit for their morning ritual. Along with other ritual items to help signify the number nines glory and importance.

"Humble nine God," Trent bowed in front of it, "We are here again. Please allow us to be forever trustworthy."

Noah bowed to, but stayed quiet.

"Noah, please the God and say your blessings," Trent told Noah.

Noah sighed, "All powerful nine God. Please keep us safe and in your sight as potential members of the all mighty nine heaven."

"Yes almighty nine healer and wonderful all over everything," Trent added. "We will always be forever faithful."

Noah leaned up and looked out the window, wishing he was anywhere but here.

Trent looked up from his bowing and grabbed Noah and smashed his head into the floor. "We need to stay like this for nine full minutes. If we move, we have to restart."

Noah rubbed his head. "Yes, almighty Nine Trooper."

Trent smiled, as two stayed in their kneeling position.

Nine minutes later, Trent leaned up and sighed with satisfactory.

Noah sat up as well, head pounding with pain. As he sat up the sleeve of his shirt caught fire by the candle.

"Damn, it," Noah gasped as he ran to the bathroom.

Trent just watched as Noah exited. "I should probably use non forever candles."

"YOU THINK!" Noah screamed.

"Scream at me eight more times," Trent raced to the bathroom.

"Get out!" Noah screamed. "I'm taking a dump."

Trent saw Noah sitting on the toilet. He then ran back to the nine worshiping room.

Noah sighed in relief and closed the door. Only for Trent to run back and slam the door open. To stare at Noah.

"GET OUT!" Noah's screamed.

Trent obeyed and ran back to the nine worshiping room. So Noah could close the door again. Only for yet again, Trent to come back and push the door open and stare at Noah.

"Seven more times?" Noah asked.

"Seven more times," Trent agreed.

On the ninth time, Noah had finished. And Trent for some reason took a guilty pleasure and looked at Noah's bare butt as he pulled his pants back up.

"YOU!" He screamed pointing nine fingers at Noah. It would be ten if Trent hadn't used a knife and cut off his left thumb.

"What now?" Noah demanded.

"You're a 10 worshiper!" Trent exclaimed.

"What in the world are you shitting about?" Noah deadpanned.

"You have a tattoo of the number 10 on your right butt cheek," Trent gasped in hurt.

"Not my fault," Noah deadpanned washing his hands and leaving. "Just never fall asleep on your stomach with Izzy lurking around."

"I'm still hurt," Trent sighed in disbelief. "You had it all this time and never told me."

"We've only been together for 18 days," Noah grunted in annoyance.

Trent ignored that. "Nine God always needs to punish those who defy the nine code. You mush be punished."

"And how would you do that?" Noah asked, "Smack me in the face nine times?"

"No," Trent said. "Something else."

Next thing Noah knew, he was hanging outside the window on the flag pole by his underwear. Being nine stories above the street.

"Yeah, did not see this coming," Noah said, no fear what so ever in his eyes. "How long do I have to be here?"

"99 hours," Trent replied. "If you fail or fall to your death, you get the second punishment."

"And what's that?" Noah asked.

"Being Owen's bitch," Trent replied.

"OOOOOOOH!"

"What was that?" Trent asked, looking around and not seeing anyone. It probably didn't help, that he was spinning endlessly in circles. "fifty-four, fifty-five..." he said to himself.

As Noah watched the circus act, he saw someone behind Trent.

"No not you," he gasped.

"Izzy heard you broke the nine code," Izzy giggled, standing near the window. "So Izzy had to investigate."

"And Izzy, perhaps save me from becoming road kill," Noah hoped.

"Sure." Izzy giggled. "Izzy has a secret though."

Trent saw Izzy after he had finished spinning. He saw there were 99 Izzy's as his vision was mixed up from being dizzy.

"I'm dizzy, Izzy," he said. "What are you doing here?"

"Izzy's here to become Psycho Trent's new partner," Izzy replied. "Izzy is a fellow Nine Worshipper."

"When did you start?" Trent asked excitedly.

Izzy looked at the clock and then at the calendar on the wall and then took 9 second to think. "About fifty seconds ago."

"AWESOME!" Trent yelled in excitement. He turned to Noah. "Your services are no longer required."

"Boy, how upsetting?" Noah deadpanned, arms crossed.

"So can Izzy save Noah?" Izzy asked Trent.

"Do as you wish," Trent replied. "I have to go murder the mailman for only putting one stamp on my letter to the producers of Total Drama."

"What it say?" Izzy asked curiously.

"It said I was going to destroy them all 999 times if they didn't make at least 999 seasons of Total Drama," Trent replied.

"I hate that show," Izzy barfed.

"Why?" Noah deadpanned.

"Because Total and Drama are a combined of ten letters," Izzy replied.

Trent gasped and never noticed it before. "Forget the mailman, I have to stop that show." He runs out of the building and down the parking lot where he grabs his vehicle of choice.

A military tank. Why, because it has nine wheels for the treads on each side. He drove it down the street running over cars and innocent bystanders.

Trent saw he had only run over eight so far, so he saw an old guy in a wheelchair sitting on the corner. So...yeah...it did not end well.

It didn't end there. Trent accidentally hit the rocket button, sending a rocket from the tanks cannon. He only watched as it sailed and blew up a hospital. He hit his head, as he hit the button eight more times.

He wanted to hit the hospital again, but they all missed and hit eight separate places. A school bus, a grocery store, the mailman he wanted to kill earlier for his one stamp on his letter, the police station, a , Hope's Peak Academy, TD Action film lot, and the library.

Izzy giggled as she saw Trent make his way to Total Drama Headquarters.

"Anyway, Izzy," said, jumping out onto the pole. "Time to save Noah Whoa."

"Bout time," Noah said.

Few minutes later, Noah was back inside, feet safely on the floor.

Izzy giggled at him.

"What's so funny?" He demanded.

"You're pink underwear," Izzy said as she watched him stuff them back in.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," he deadpanned.

"Nah, I think I'll whistle instead," Izzy said placing two fingers in her mouth and making a sharp whistling sound.

"And why'd you do that?" he asked.

"For your second punishment," Izzy said, big wide smile.

"Second punishment?" Noah asked.

"You failed to stay on that pole for 99 hours," Izzy said. "So you must pay the consequences. And you must now be Owen's bitch FOREVER!"

Just then the door got busted down and Owen came busting in. He spotted Noah and ran over grabbing Noah by his wrist and dragging him out of the apartment.

"Why me?" Noah demanded with a scream.

"Noah, me and you are going to have so much fun," Owen said. "Do you like DJ and Chef?"

"Not really," Noah replied. "Why?" He really shouldn't have asked that.

"The four of us have a date," Owen yelped in excitement. "We're meeting in DJ's bedroom."

Noah looked at the fourth wall camera as it followed him. "Yeah, my life is shit. Especially to where its leading me now. So damn you Mr. Fanfiction writer. Damn you. Damn you FOREVER!"

Izzy watched them disappear and laughed manically. Little did Noah know, Izzy was a Fanfiction writer. She held a camera in her hands and looked straight into it. "Well that's all folks. Until next time."


End file.
